I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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