I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
