Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
