If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
