Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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