can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
