so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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