last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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