Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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