idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
did i walk over a car last night?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
