Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
