If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
