I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
