youre lurking in front of me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
