another moral hangover. fuck.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
