well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
