did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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