Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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