I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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