if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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