he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
