You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
