i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
