i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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