C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
