How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize