id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
