South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
