I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Can I color on your dick again?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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