Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize