He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
