Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Mom said you looked used
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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