I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
