yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just sucked dick on a ferry
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize