did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i already hear my dad disowning me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
