you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
