help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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