The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
