LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
im on a boat
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