Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize