what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
