some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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