Pregnant stripper...not hot.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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