i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i drank out of a bidet.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
