So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
