Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I love having hate sex.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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