Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
