he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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