Small penises have feelings too.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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