**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
