i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
