(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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