Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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