I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
