wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
