what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
