I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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