last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
