This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
