dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
