I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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