okay pat passed out under dana's car
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
