dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
