know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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