As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
too bad you live with your parents still
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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