Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Randomize
