theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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