so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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