i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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