Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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